Antonio “Sissy Rebel who Likes Hotels” Trillanes

So let me get this straight.

Trillanes walks of out his trial, dramatically leads a march into the heart of the Makati Business District, practically takes over the Manila Peninsula, calls up all his homies with guns and matching armbands, talks tough, incites a rebellion and then surrenders when the SWAT team throws in tear gas?

I just have to make this clear.

This tough guy ex-soldier with dreams of rebellion, who practically takes a hotel hostage, is afraid of tear gas? WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE EXPECTING? That the government would just roll over while he cleared out the mini-bar? Of course they’re going to throw tear gas! Of course they’re going to show some force! You’re trying to bring down the President! Don’t you fucking watch action movies? What kind of villain surrenders after fucking tear gas?

Trillanes: “Mga Magdalo! Ngayon na ang panahon ng pagbabago! Hindi tayo aatras! Hindi tayo susuko! Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!”

Rebels: “Mabuhay and Magdalo! Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!”

Trillanes: “Pabagsakin si Gloria!”

Rebels: “AWWOOOOO!”

(APC destroys hotel door and SWAT throws in the tear gas)

Trillanes: “PUTANGINA ANO YUN! Naiiyak ako! Wahhhhhh! Wahhhh!”

Rebel #1: “Bosing, tear gas lang yan! Lalaban tayo diba?!”

Trilannes: “Wahhhh! Wahhhh! Ayoko na! Wahhh! Baka masira nails ko.”

Anyway, how unprepared do you have to be to surrender in 5 hours? Oh and more importantly, why is Trillanes even leading this thing? Didn’t he already try and fail a couple of years ago? Even then, it took only a couple of hours. This is going to look bad in his resume. I mean, who’s going to get him to lead rebellions now when both of his attempts were quashed within the day? He just doesn’t seem to be a very good rebel, is all I’m saying. The next time he tries this, the army’s just gonna go, “May coup? Sino leader? Ah si Trillanes? Sige gawa ka muna ng kape.”

Another thing, how gay is it that Trillanes picks hotels for the venue for his bitch fits? I’m no badass rebel leader, but wouldn’t an abandoned warehouse or some historic fort or something have more effect than a 5 star hotel with a gay roman fountain upfront? Apparently he’s only going to rebel if the right amenities are available. No bottle of Perrier and a bubble bath, no coup d’etat. Sorry.

    I’m sick of all this bitching from other teams crying out for being overlooked or under-supported. That is the nature of sports. Some teams are just more interesting, more entertaining and more watchable. No offense. As a fan, I am entitled to support which teams I damn well please to and not support those I have no interest in. That is the nature of the sports fan. You invest yourself in a team and you ride and die with them. You don’t support two or three then stick with the winning one. That’s BS. A fan is not obligated to support every team from her state/city/alma mater. A fan is obligated to support the team he/she loves to watch.

New Yorkers don’t take shit for rooting for the Giants instead of the Jets, or the Mets instead of the Yankees. They are entitled to pick the team they like. They also don’t get any shit for rooting for the Jets but not being interested in the Mets of the Yankees. Some people just like football over baseball. Is it so wrong to like one team over the other in one sport? Absolutely not. Is it wrong to like one sport over the other? Hell no.

So don’t give me shit about not being supportive of some team that I don’t like watching. Don’t give me shit about supporting a sport that does not entertain me. Don’t give me shit about showing love to sports that the opposite gender plays because I’m just not interested. As a member of a community, I’m obligated to be loyal to my own colors and support my colors over any competition. A New Yorker who’s a baseball fans should either be a Mets fan or a Yankees fan. That’s understandable. A New Yorker should take the Mets or Yankees over any other baseball team in the league. That’s reasonable. But a New Yorker who takes the side of the Mets is not obligated to pick a team in every sport and cheer for them.

A sports fan is invested in a team. Whatever team that may be, whatever sport that may be, that is his goddamn decision. If someone is a baseball fan and not a football fan, he isn’t disloyal or treacherous, he’s just a fan. If someone likes men’s baseball over women’s softball, hey, he’s a fan, he likes what he likes. Don’t give sports fans shit about being obligated to cheer for and be invested in every goddamn team that wears his colors. That isn’t how the sports world works.

    Finally, after a boring June-September stretch, life becomes interesting again. This October season should keep anybody busy, or at least not bored. I mean, you’ve got new seasons of Heroes, House, How I Met Your Mother, The Simpsons, Family Guy and The Office, as well promising new pilots like Cane. You’ve got the ongoing NFL season. You’ve got the coming NBA season (fantaseeeee). To top that all off, it can all be enjoyed during a much-deserved and long-awaited sem-break.

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I’m really getting pissed at ABS-CBN for their continual insistence to produce and air shows that are utterly borne out of donkey crap. Case in point this time? KOKEY. KOKEY! KOKEY?! Are you fucking kidding me? KOKEY? Of course, they just had to rhyme it with some lame line like “Ang bestfriend mong okay.” That was the best they can do? KOKEY and OKAY? Was JUDE and bestfriend mong GOOD taken? How about KASTIG and bestfriend mong ASTIG. Or JOJO HATE and bestfriend mong TAE. You get the point.

If the name wasn’t bad enough, they had to make Kokey a cheap, retarded version of ET. You know what the pathetic thing is? ET is more than two decades old and it looks a whole lot fucking better than that retarted mascot KOKEY. It wasn’t enough that they ripoff a 20 year old Spielberg classic and bastardize it into a local TV show, they had to do an extremely crappy job with it. That show just looks fucking ridiculous.
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I hate that the Senate is spending so much time trying to sate their own personal gripes with the President. We have a ton of courts and judges and an Ombudsman to investigate wrongdoings. The senators should stop wasting time and just get one with their publicly mandated lawmaking duties. They’ve had enough face time.

Who writes this shit?

I was flipping through channels last night when I stumbled on some show with Katrina Halili on GMA 7. I watched a bit, hoping she would take her top off or something, when this dialogue ensued…

Katrina Halili: Magluto ka ng pagkain para kay Lola!

Maid (holding a dog): Ako po? Magluluto?

Katrina Halili: Oo. Lutuin mo yung pagkain ni Fifi (points at the dog)!

Maid:(Looks at the dog) Pagkain ni FIFI? Hindi ba DOG FOOD yun? At PANG ASO lang yun? Pwede ba sa tao yun?

WOW. Who writes this shit?!

P.S. I omitted the lines that Fifi the dog had. Yes, the dog had lines. And it was speaking in this female-trying-to-sound-gay-and-ghetto voice.

Yi Jianlian

Hahahaha.

Noli Eala

I have to commend Noli Eala for stepping down as PBA commissioner when he did. It has been the norm in this country to grasp at the very last straw to hold on to power. We’ve seen this with so many politicians who were indicted or accused of criminal charges yet will hang on to their position of power at all costs. Most modern societies will have such prominent figures resign their post rather than face the shame of conviction. In countries like the U.S. and Japan, once a high ranking official is tainted with scandal, the norm is for him/her to step down to save face. Here, it’s just the opposite, and it’s really fucking sad.

So I really believe Noli Eala did himself honor despite being dishonored (and disbarred). Stepping down as commissioner was the classy and ethical thing to do. I’m glad he didn’t pull a Jalosjos or an Erap and bitch and whine and provoke unwarranted attention despite overwhelming evidence against him.

Now only if there was some way to get Chino Trinidad off the planet. That guy is seriously the worst fucking commentator alive. He’s so fucking bad, it’s not even funny anymore. How that guy is PBL commissioner is unfathomable.

Murphy’s Law-ed

I just got fucked in the ass by a 18-wheel trailer today. That trailer truck blocked abotu 3 lanes along Libis, on the way to Katipunan, and I was stuck in its wrath of traffic for a good half hour. What really made my ass bleed is that I missed my Philo orals by 5 minutes, which in the system of my professor, merits an F. I just fucking F’ed my first philo orals because of a fucking traffic incident. I bet Murphy was a gay inmate in Sing Sing, because he sure knows his ass fucking.

On your average daily blogger

I was reading Butch Dalisay’s blog a couple of minutes ago, where he has an anti-rant rant and talks about all these people who troll message boards and irresponsibly blog and bash whatever they feel like, and I realized something: I have (directly or indirectly) spawned a whole bunch of holyassclown copycats. I mean think about it. When I started blogging, 6 or so years ago, nobody ever used the word “fuck” as gratuitously as I did and still do. Nobody called people out or criticized them upfront. Nobody blogged about things apart from the musings of their everyday lives and how great or horrible their day was.

When I started blogging, blogs were glorified personal diaries with entries like “Oh I had a great time today with person X, we watched a movie, had dinner…blah blah blah.” And to a large extent, blogs are still like that. But what really fucking pisses me off is that a lot of people are now trying to be angry and witty and shameless when that kind of angle just doesn’t fit. A lot of blogs have copied the holyassclown style just because they think its cool to start writing shit and sound smart. I’m going to be the first to say that you all sound like babbling housewives trying to please a 1950s working man.

I am imploring all you fucking bloggers out there who got bored with writing about their love lives and how busy they are at school and whatever else kind of drivel you used to blog about, please, don’t be an asshole and try to sound smart and funny when you aren’t, never will and never have been. Honestly, it’s just fucking pathetic.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Well well well. Look who decided to switch neighborhoods. I’m moving to WordPress because I felt that my Xanga blog was getting too much attention that I was no longer that comfortable to write without restraint. I know it’s a public blog and all, but with the kind of shit I write, I’d rather keep it within a close circle. Since I write publicly and privately under my real name, it makes more sense to be safe about this sort of thing.

So why WordPress? Well Xanga got old, LJ’s bloated, Blogger’s too serious and Multiply is too “Look at me! Look at me!” WordPress seems like a nice new home.

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There will be a second episode of the Holyassclown podcast and it will feature a special guest host, Sars Anonuevo. I’m not sure when yet, but it’ll be soon.

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